Top 3 Reasons I’m Looking Forward To Duke Nukem Forever

The date is set. May 3 June (see update below) of this year, the highly anticipated, long sought after, believed to be dead, fourth installment of the Duke Nukem franchise will be released from it’s 12 year development life cycle and begin reeking havoc on my Xbox 306, productivity, and free time.

I could spout out (quite possibly) hundreds of reasons why every gamer should be excited about this release, but there are three specific instances that come to mind.

You Get To Spank Girls!

Oh, I’m showing my evil grin! In a recent review at ArsTechnica.com, reviewer Ben Kuchera is not pleased. A snippet from the whole post:

There will be 10 multiplayer maps included in the game, and the modes include Dukematch, Team Dukematch, Hail to the King (King of the Hill), and Capture the Babe. That’s right, instead of flags you’ll be grabbing and fighting over human women, and every so often one of them will freak out, requiring you to administer a little slap to bring her back to her senses.
…
To be honest, my first thought upon hearing this news was that it was a misprint of some kind, but when publications began getting official clarification stating that you’d be slapping the women on the butt while they were slung over your shoulders, I began to take it a little more seriously.

Now, just to be clear, I am not advocating for violence against women of any kind. The reason this excites me is not that you’ll be encourage to spank women (though I would fully encourage that I guess) but that illustrates the Duke Nukem Forever will be following in it’s predecessor’s foot steps with attempting to push out — or maybe outright cross — the politically correct line in the sand that’s been dominant for much too long.

The ladies love Duke

I’m actually experiencing a hint of schadenfreude over this! I’m looking forward to seeing the out cry from the Femma-Nazis, uptight conservatives and the like. It will be a hoot!

(So Far) It’s Living Up To The Hype

One of the biggest concerns I’ve kept for Duke Nukem Forever throughout the years is that it somehow would not be able to live up to the expectation that the gamer community has placed on it. By our very nature, gamers usually aren’t that forgiving when I beloved franchise or hero is taken in “the wrong direction”. The only thing worse than NOT releasing a fourth Duke game would be releasing it… and it being terrible!

Although the people who have actually had “hands on” time with the game play are few and far between; so far they are all saying the same thing: “It lives up to the hype!”

Duke Nukem is the all American Hero

I’m Just A Huge Fan Of Duke’s!

This was my favorite

I have been a Duke Nukem fan ever since the Duke Nukem 3D. As a matter of fact, Duke Nukem 3D holds special memories in my heart. (Yes, I’m about to get sappy over a video game released in 1995).

It was one of the first video games that I ever bought, and the first game rated “M” for mature. I remember the feeling of anxiousness as I waited for my Packard Bell PC (with 32 MB of ram!) installed the game for the first time. I remember going through the first level and being hooked. From that moment on, I played just about every level in the game multiple times over, bought every expansion pack they released for the game — including such great titles as “Duke it out in DC” where you get to save Bill Clinton and “Nuclear Winter” where you’re required to show down against a brain washed Santa Claus — and I even bought the game all over again when the released the “Atomic” edition with the extra-hard, extra episode, “The Birth.”

When we last left Duke, this is what he was up to

Duke’s level editor even allowed me to try my hand at designing a couple of levels. I was never really good at the level editor, as it was complex for me “back in the day” but some of the levels I created I can still remember just about every little detail. Simply because I made them, and they were special to me. What gamer doesn’t want to create his own video game content?

Though May will be here before we know it, it can’t come soon enough for me. My fond memories of Duke 3D are making me very anxious for more Duke. Until then I’m hoping the Xbox Live reissue of Duke Nukem 3D will keep me busy.

UPDATE:

And no sooner do I publish this post then does this video get released announcing the release date for the game has been pushed back. Grrr.