I really wanted to like Bayonetta. The concept of the game is pure nerd-nip. Who wouldn’t enjoy spending time with a black leather clad, anatomically perfect, English accented vixen with magical powers, big guns, pistols attached her 12 inch stilettos (yes), combat moves that would make even Chuck Norris jealous, and the sexiest swagger to hit video games since Lara Croft first started raiding tombs? Unfortunately, all the game’s highlights end with its protagonist.
But those highlights are certainly worth mentioning. Bayonetta is one the better video games characters created in a while. She’s has a distinct style, larger than life persona, and an off-the-cuff attitude that borrows heavily from Dante of Devil May Cry fame. Technically speaking, she’s rendered beautifully and her combat controls are easy enough for pick-up-and-play but deep enough where you’ll be rewarded with some dazzling fighting combinations if you invest the effort to learn her control scheme.
Sadly, the rest of the game is a mess and doesn’t give you the chance to do too much this character. The story of the game is completely incoherent and presented poorly.
Four levels into the game I still had no idea who Bayonetta was supposed to be nor why she appeared to be waging a war with bother heaven and hell. (She does mention a brief reference to about being paid by Chicago-style gangster to dispose of fallen angels — if that makes any sense to anyone.) Later in the game we’re introduced to a little girl, who turns out to be Bayonetta’s child, who then later turns about to be Bayonetta as a little girl.
Dressed to kill.
This ‘story’ is told through over the top theatrical cut scenes and poorly scripted, voice acted dialog. Some of these cut-scenes took longer to watch than it took to play the preceding levels. This lead to a horrible slow down in the action and served as a major buzz kill. I finally got to the point where I was skipping most of the story cinematics outright. I get the feeling I wasn’t missing much.
The enemies didn’t bring to much to the table either. Though I can’t discredit the enemies from looking intimidating — giant, two story tall monsters that look like they found their way out of a Del Torro movie — but they fought with the ferociousness of tiny attack kittens. Dodging and launching into the ‘witch time’ counter attack brings just about every enemy down turning the entirety game play into one big button mashing escapade.
I also ran into a few common game glitches that could have easily been avoided with an extra level of polish. Too often I was fighting with the camera trying to figure out just where Bayonetta was; on more than a dozen occasions I was killed by a swarm of enemies taking cheap shots in sequence that left me with no recourse; and, perhaps my biggest pet-peeve, often I was killed out of nowhere by something that wasn’t even visible on the screen yet.
Bayonetta is a great character trapped in a poor game. It’s akin to buying a $250,000 Ferrari and only having winding, steep, dirt roads to drive it around on. Yes technically your driving a Ferrari, but on these roads who cares? My final verdict is a weak 3/10.
That's a pretty big axe you got there... compensating for something?
August 16, 2010
Media