Caveat!
I feel I should make two qualifying remarks before beginning this post:
First, I’m completely sticking my nose into someone else’s business. An action I usually try very hard to avoid, but I feel the over arching context of the encounter serves as a catalyst into a practical realm of spiritual thought. Naturally, real names are not used to try and prevent, or at the very least distill, any offense.
Secondly, please understand that I’m not sure my thoughts have a theological leg to stand on. This is very, dark gray spiritual ground I’m treading — outside of pointing to a few examples of similar circumstances and my own observations, I’m not necessarily sure I know what I’m talking out.
So, where wise men fear to tread, fools rush in. Today I might be playing the fool.
The Scenario
The other day, I happened upon a Facebook status update — These days, doesn’t it seem that most thought reform is brought about by a Facebook post of some sort? — posted by Mr. Glockenspiel, urging his Facebook chums to pray for the soul of his friend Missy. If questions arose from such a militant request, he urged the curious to view Missy’s profile and see the error of her ways.
I’m not usually one to pry into such sensationalism, but I confess that my curiosity got the better of me. The next thing I know, I was trolling through both Missy’s and Mr. Glockenspiel’s profile. After about 15 minutes of toggling between the two, this is the picture I was able to put together — and this may not be entirely accurate:
Mr. Glockenspiel and Missy’s parents attended the same church, as such, he has watched her grow up from some undefined age and now she is now away at college. She’s taken a liking to drinking, parting, and the occasional published profanity. Unfortunately for her, this is a life style far removed from the from the definition Mr. Glockenspiel has for moral Christian conduct.
My Secondary Observation
This observation has nothing to do other than sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. But because I’ve come this far I figure, “In for the penny, in for the pound.”
Though it can be a heartbreak for some to watch others seemingly slip from the faith, and it is the responsibility of the Christian to try and hold other Christians accountable for their actions, I believe Mr. Glockenspiel was in the wrong to so in the manner in which it was done. This might have might have done more harm than good to Missy’s faith, or at least her impression of it. And I’m sure this wasn’t an intentional aggravation, he was probably just behaving the only way he knew how to given the situation.
As a result of this request, her profile was inundated with posts from fellow Facebook users who fell into two camps. The first were obviously friends from her church at home trying to ease an already escalating situation. Some of these friends, who clearly saw the same damage being done in this action that I saw, appeared to be trying to undo some of it. Though even through this process, the overall town was one of condemnation.
The second group was that of her college friends who expressed nothing but support for her actions and even attempted to aid in her defense against the uptight Christians by posting some of their own colorful vocabulary.
At this point, in which group is Missy more likely to find acceptance?
My Primary Observation
It’s been my observation that some of the greatest men of faith I’ve come to admire have each gone through their own period of blatant unbelief.
Philip Yancey, a very popular and affluent Christian author, and my shadow mentor, confesses in his book Reaching for the Invisible God a time of disbelief and disobedience during his seminary college years. Part of the stipulation for attending his university was the mandate that every Friday night students would hold off campus Bible studies at other colleges. Though he had reported he was doing just that, he admits that he instead was ‘hanging out’ and watching movies. He further goes on to tell how easily he was able to fool other believes of his deep faith.
C.S. Lewis in Surprised by Joy, the closet we have to a biography of one of the greatest authors and thinkers of all time, tells the tale of his belief, the loss of that belief, and how that belief was obtained again. During that time of unbelief, he recalls his lost battles with pride and chastity. Even when he felt the call of Christ placed back onto his life, he frantically searched for an escape from the belief of Christianity. He describes himself as a man ‘kicking and screaming’ his way through the gates of heaven.
King David of the Old Testament was not, by what I am assuming Mr. Glockenspiel’s moral Christian standards are, a good Christian. Though there is no specific account of a time period where he fell away from his belief, he became an adulterer and a murderer… and yet he is described by the very same scriptures as a man after God’s own heart.
Some Probing Questions
This questions stand on the a fore mentioned theological shaky ground.
So I’m left to wonder: Is it so dangerous if a Christian back-burners their faith for a season? Not all may return, but then my question would have to be, what was the strength of their faith originally? Is a period of backsliding, or unbelief, a prerequisite to a stronger faith and deeper relationship with Christ?
Though man looks at the outside, God considers the heart. And a heart that’s been changed through grace and forgiveness I’m sure is more pleasing to God than a heart that’s been pounded into the submission by a set ridged Christian rules for living. I can only speculate on this point, but I think God would find it better to mend a person who had tried things their own way, failed and is returning to Him for help, than to try to grow the Christian who remains true to the faith for the completely wrong reasons and has built up a resentment for it.
Though I can’t say anything for sure within the specific scenario of Mr. Glockenspiel and Missy, simply because I don’t know what the motivations and intentions are, I am certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that not all who wander are lost.
May 4, 2010 at 2:08 am
If I may posit the question from a (still new) agnostic’s perspective:
- Say I’ve lived my entire life without ever seriously changing my mind or behavior on religious issues – I’ve looked into other faiths, but have come back to my own. Which is more likely – that we all come back to where we were eventually, or that I was just really lucky to be born in the correct place?
I’m a big fan of straying for a season. The fact is – and I say this with all the disclaimers you took upon yourself already – Mr. G’s actions were extremely unwise, particularly if he wanted to avoid the polarization that he inadvertently created. That fact has nothing to do with Christianity; it’s very basic human psychology. That a much older man didn’t or couldn’t figure that out is disturbing – I realize you also don’t believe he did the right thing, but you’ve also defended him, given that his intentions were good. I don’t see that you should have to – he’s the adult. And it makes little logical sense to have the same standard of deference to unequal parties when your standard of judgment comes from experience (other people’s, granted – David, Yancey, and Lewis – but experience nonetheless), the very thing that makes them unequal.
That was a long sentence. That probably means it’s time to wrap this up and sleep.
I suppose, in summary, you could say that allowing people to stray is, or could be, a sign of the inherent strength of a faith rather than a weakness. You don’t have to convince people to immigrate to America; you have to lie to them to keep them in North Korea.
May 4, 2010 at 3:41 pm
Nate, this insight is great.
I suppose maybe I was a little lenient on Mr. G. I completely agree that he was 100% in the wrong for his actions, but it’s been my experience with people who are that wrong that they honestly do believe they are doing the Lord’s work. They usually think this way because of some disillusionment at work within their own life. Again, I’m not saying I approve of the behavior, but I do understand it. I’ve actually seen quite a bit of this in my 30 years time.
I agree with you that this issue has little to do with Christianity, and maybe boils down more to issues with maturity. In either case, you are right… he should have known better. He really just exasperated the situation — like a school yard bully who stamps his feet when the other kids don’t want to play the game he want to play.
There really is such a fine balance between learning from someone else’s experience and learning a lesson the hard way, but having that lesson be of benefit to you. For example, I would for my sons to learn from some of my experiences, in order to spare them some of the pain that I went through growing up. However; forcing these lessons upon them means the hardening of their hearts to the subject matter, will they have gained anything from me? If it’s prolonged and bitterness begins to set in, they easily could be worse off than if I had tried never to intervene. I’m don’t mind saying that I’m nervous I won’t find that balance.
And this is off topic, but you’ve also inadvertently stumbled upon a topic that I think about quite often: The reciprocal nature of belief and unbelief. Is one’s belief purely based upon what you’re taught when you’re younger? Or maybe a better question would be, “Can we step out into a belief that is allowed to shape us, or are we always doomed to fall back and conform to what is familiar as a perverted form of nostalgia?” But, like I said, this is another topic.