Bitten tells the story of a grave-yard shift paramedic Jack, who can’t seem to pull his life together. One fateful night he meets a girl who was bitten by a vampire left to die in a back ally. And after she refuses to be taken to a hospital, takes her home to nurse her back to health. As with most vampire victims who survive being bitten, she eventually turns. In an odd twist to vampire movies, she falls in love with Jack and wants to his wife. For some odd reason she also doesn’t want to leave his apartment. (My guess is to keep the budget of the movie down by only have one set) To make matters even more interesting, she develops and unquenchable thirst and can’t control her feeding.
This movie has it all. Poor acting, bad editing, a lousy soundtrack, and plenty of worthless scenes that don’t do anything to advance the plot. I could have cut about 45 minutes from the movie and nothing would have been missed. To make matters worse, I couldn’t even tell if Bitten was intended to be a comedy or not. Most of the movie seemed dark and serious, but then it would seamlessly transfer to into scenes of slap-stick comedy without rhyme or reason.
What the movie does do well is create a unique perspective on what a relationship with a vampire might be like. That isn’t much but it was enough to keep me wondering how it could possibly end. However, on that note, the ending was so anticlimactic it made me want the hour and a half playtime back. If you really want to see how vampires fall in love, go watch True Blood. My final score: 2/10.
Love hurts... but its not as painful as having to sit through 'Bitten'
February 11, 2010
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