The problem:
I need to grab both column labels and row values from my database based on nothing more than a passed table name. Getting the data is easy, and getting the column labels is easier thanks Coldfusion’s variable attributes but it isn’t quite what I want.

The cfquery results attribute “.columnList” returns the table’s column [...]

Isn’t it funny and yet frustrating how the rewards of hard work seem to masquerade as mere ‘luck’ to the people who aren’t really working?

“People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it’s true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People’s heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think [...]

You only have two decades worth of experience dealing with the weather and climate changes… how dare you think you know more about global warming than Al Gore?

That’s right. Reports work on “instinct”.