So I got around to watching the new NBC TV show, “Baby Borrowers” last night. As the name implies, the show is about young couples who “borrow” babies for 3 days from other couples to see how they will handle the responsibilities of… well, I don’t want to say raising a baby… an extended babysitting session is a more appropriate a phrase.
I wasn’t so much impressed with the show, but what did leave an impression on me was the attitude of younger couples. These kids wouldn’t take responsibility, were arrogant, and one even through a fit (and started crying!) after the mother of baby she was watching told her she was going things wrong and offered advice. She wanted the complete respect of the mother before she had done a single thing to earn it.
I know that these couples cannot be seen as a general representation of the the generation, (and maybe I’m getting too carried away on my soap box) but the more look at the attitude and behavior of high school students today, I am starting to see that this false sense of entitlements now has become the rule and not the exception. I find a complete void of character in these people. This reality will probably be one of the darkest of my son’s life.
Where did we go wrong?
The blame is to be placed at the feet of the parents. Character is forged in the fire of adversity, but the iron used to forge it is made up of values and morals. Values have to be taught. Morals have to be taught. Children have to see how their parents act in situations, and their actions must be found to be worthy of emulation. These ideas we have that if we leave them alone they will find their own way, or that what they really need is just more education on certain matters, are failing us.
How do we get back on the right track?
The solution to the problem is the character that parents have and will pass on to their children.
10+ some odd years ago I attended the funeral of my Uncle Dick’s father. I do not remember much of the day or what was said, but I do remember a story my Uncle told. He told of a time when he was a child and his father had taken him for ice cream. When they had their treats they got back into the car, and as his dad sat down he looked at the change that he had been given back and counted it. “They gave me too much change.” he said as got out of his car and head back to the counter to give some back. My Uncle ended his story by stating that he learned more about honesty in that one gesture all those years ago than anywhere else in his life.
I never knew my Uncle’s father, but I remember hearing that story and being impressed. That is a man of character, that would be worth emulating! This was one of the lessons that he passed down to his children, and those around him. This was part of his legacy.
As a brand knew parent I am finding myself more and more concerned with what it is Logan is going to learn from me and his mother. We could lecture him, and send him to all the Sunday school classes we want until he is sick of Sundays, but if we even have a chance of instilling in him a sense of morality, and setting his feet on the right path to becoming a man of character, we had better be sure that we are people of character.
I am finding that to be a person of stand up character is a difficult task, and with the truth being spoken, most of the time I fail at it. But I am finding the reason I fail so much is because I am out of practice. I need to be a person of character even with the smallest of things. Not only will this teach me and make making the right decisions a habit, but truthfully it’s the smaller things that Logan will end up seeing most of the time.
For children, most likely the biggest part of their character, they will inherit from us. (And all the perks and flaws that come with it) The only way for character to be communicated is through actions. My solution is not for the kids to change, but the parents.
When my the time comes, I want Logan to be able to stand up and truthfully tell a story about me the way my Uncle did about his dad.
I can think of no better evidence for a life well lived then to have my son be proud of the man I am.
