You’re a young guy with clear skin and perfect teeth and the kind of job you’re proud to write the alumni association about. You’re too young to have fought in any wars and if your parents weren’t divorced, then your father was probably never at home. Maybe you really are thinking about some pain-free free-range potluck you went to last weekend or the Earth’s depleted O-Zone or the desperate need to stop cruel product testing on animals… but probably not.

-Tyler Durdan